In the past 22 hours, 3 people have told me I seem softer and don’t have my usual edge. I know what they’re talking about. I’m not offended. I am coming into my own.
I now acknowledge what I refused to believe/see/feel the previous year. And now I’m discovering that I can’t be hurt unless I allow it, that I can’t be lied to without accepting a lie as truth, that I can’t be devalued without first lacking self-worth. I am reclaiming my merit, my deservedness and realizing that only I can determine my significance. Speaking my new truth has indeed softened me.
While I know I have a lot to work on still, I am really loving this new me, this new woman. She’s not a new self, a new brain, a new heart or a new body. The core parts of this woman have always been there. She’s a modified version of a former truth. She was just waiting, wrapped snugly in her cocoon. And as soon as she stopped seeing herself through someone else’s eyes – The beautiful butterfly with delicate wings started to emerge. She is, no, I am becoming the woman I was meant to be. And I am going to be okay.
~ Jen Troyer, July 2014