Saving Myself

So… I’ve had a recurring dream since I was 12 years old. I have it whenever I’m extremely stressed out. There are 4 versions of the dream, but in each scenario, there’s a big wave that takes me out to sea and 1 specific person who can save me, if only she’ll reach out her hand and try.

20 years ago I consulted a dream interpreter, who explained that waves are emotions and said I felt like I was put into a situation I didn’t deserve (as a teenager) and am resentful that I wasn’t rescued. She suggested that each time I have this dream, I stop trying to be saved. That’s when I really got into dream interpretation.

I’m currently at the apex of my stress level. Selling my big home, building a home in Thailand, moving to a live/work space and floating a rental home in another country, all while having work done on my house, going through a surprisingly nasty divorce, totaling my car, and now re-homing the loves of my life, Humphrey and Bogie. That’s a lot for the average Joe, but it’s even a lot for bad-ass me.

Cut to early this morning just before I woke up. I’m having another wave dream, but this time, it’s a little girl I see swept out to sea and drowning. I run into the water, swim way out to the blue to get her, pull her up to the beach, do CPR and I save her. I saved her! That’s when I realized I was looking down at myself. The little girl was me. I FINALLY SAVED MYSELF. 30 years of therapy and I’ve finally saved myself.

This is for all the warrior women. May we become our own heroes.

~ Jen Troyer, July 2018

Author: The Green Dragon Lady

Jen is a Digital Nomad, Business Owner and aspiring Wordsmith. Jen splits her time 90% in Thailand and 10% in Seattle. She’s a tattooed eco-warrior, traveler, mom, vegetarian, diver, pool hall junkie, political loud mouth, and advocate for women and animals. As a highly functional person living with OCD most of her life, she channels that energy through spreadsheets (so many!), living in her happy place (Thailand), caring for animals (including rescued elephants), spending quality time with friends and family, listening to live music, and being passionately outspoken about what matters to her. Jen owns an eco-friendly house cleaning company in Seattle and loves teaching people how to do anything in the most environmentally and socially responsible way possible. Whether it’s the food we put in our bodies, the cleaning products and supplies we use in our homes, or the businesses we frequent, there’s always a responsible solution. She believes every dollar spent is a vote for something. Where you spend has a big impact.